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35 years old and counting…
I’m going to change my life. For better or worse, I’m changing my life. And I’m scared for that.
I’m as scared of that, as I have been of anything else in my life. I’m too old to start over, and too young to give up. I’m too immature for my own good and too much of a thinker and not a doer.
That’s why I want to change. I want to embrace life and start anew, but I guess I’ll start my old tale at the beginning:
My parents are immigrants from Peru, my father is a very adventurous guy. He has lived a life that movie stars dream of. My mother has been his steady companion for about half a century. We didn’t grow up with much, but never poor. There wasn’t any big extravagant things in our house, but we always had a home. We didn’t go out to eat (rarely), but food was never scarce.
We grew up in Puerto Rico, my parents come from Peru. Both Spanish speaking countries, and while there’s some similarities, the differences are daunting. We speak the same language, but don’t talk the same. We eat the same ingredients but not the same foods. We are separated by years of traditions.
Puerto Rico, if you don’t know, is part of United States, we are not a state, but a commonwealth. A more politically minded person can tell you the more minute differences, but with the exception of some taxes that we don’t paid, and the fact that we can’t vote for the president, we are pretty much on-par with the other 50 states. A Hawaii that speaks Spanish if you want.
Not going to bore you with details, but Puerto Rico has never been an independent country. Not since the Spaniards claimed it in 1493 by Christopher Columbus (yes, that Columbus). We were owned by Spain until 1898 when Spain and United States got into a little turf war. Spain lost and as part of the treaty, Spain granted independence to Cuba and Puerto Rico became a consolation prize to United States. The U.S.A. really wanted Cuba, but Cuba was in the middle of it’s own independence fight with Spain, so it was easier to take over the smaller island of Puerto Rico.
Puertoricans are conflicted with this, some like the status quo, others want to become the 51st state, and a smaller contingency wants independence. Politics are the #1 sports in Puerto Rico, followed by Baseball, Basketball, Boxing. So every four years there’s a big fight over which party is going to take over. As a kid it was hard to understand all the different points of views, and when I was able to see them, I realized that I just didn’t care enough. If I wanted to become a state (my preference) it was just easier to go to the States. I never voted in a Puerto Rico election, I was finally eligible to vote a week after the elections. By the time the next election rolled around I was already living in United States.
Forgot to mentioned, one of the perks of being born in Puerto Rico, is that you are a US citizen by birthright, so there was no VISA hoops to go through to come to America.
I’ll talk more about my parents and Peru on my next post.
Day 3
So, as my lack of post has left you to see, NaNoWriMo was a total failure for me. I can only hope most of the thousand of people that sign up for the program were able to finish their novels, or at least be closer to their end. Unfortunately for me, life got in the way big time, and my one source of free time also changed and I just didn’t have the time to do it. Is it an excuse? Of course, I could have, should have written more than 2 miserable chapters.
I was asked last week
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After I catch my cab to The Majestic, I still have the bad taste of the date in my mind. It has just been a few bad months since my last relationship.
***
Which I know what it is. Is the point of view of Michael and a better understanding of how exactly he met Jane.
What’s going to happen to this blog from now on? well, I can’t promise an update per day, certainly not a chapter. But I’ll try to be better than I was in November. After all, this is my corner of the internet now. Let’s see how much I can grow from here.
Day 2
I don’t know if everyday I’ll add a note, but if I do, it will be at the start, or end, of the day post, and it will be surrounded by: *** Like so:
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I think I have come to the conclusion (very quickly) that this story will be better served by writing it in first person, instead of third person like I started. So once this month is over, I’ll have to re-write that first part of the first chapter. Again, I have no clue what I’m doing. Never told you I did…. Not going to lie, this is just a draft, so you’ll see errors, and continuity problems, as I try to straighten myself. I guess things that I should know before I started. So here it is, the second part of the first chapter and the whole second chapter.
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I’m confused, as to what is expected of me in this situation. When you are trying to be nice, and you feel that the other person is also being nice, but the chemistry isn’t there. You think that she’s not interested. How do you find out and let her down easily? How will she let me down?
The main course arrives, and the steak is very nicely cook, enough red in the middle, and evenly seasoned. She’s talking about her family. Thankfully she likes to talk. By the time the waitress comes asking if we want dessert, we both said fairly quickly “No, thanks.”
“Can I take this home?” She adds, directing the question to the waitress.
We keep the conversation civil enough, and even more grounded by the time we are ready to depart the restaurant. I got to remember that, this one is a good one to come back for another location.
“I had a nice time.” Not sure if she’s going to end it there. Or add a “but”. I decided to do the pre-emptive strike and help her out. Take us both out of our date-limbo.
“Yeah, me too. But you know what Amanda, I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. I had a good time, and you seem like a good girl, woman, sorry, but ….”
“There’s not enough to see us again.” I guess she has quick trigger too.
I mumble “Umm, yeah.”
“Please don’t worry, at least it was a good dinner, and you also seem like a nice guy. But obviously the ‘click’ is not there, and why force it, right?”
I nod in agreement.
“Hey at least you are not like some of the weirdos I have found. “ She gives me a hug, turns around, and I never see her again. Can’t help but feel like we did the right thing, but then again, she showed me more in that last conversation, than I have seen in a while. Maybe I shouldn’t have cutting the cord so quickly….maybe.
By the time I get home, I tired, another bad date, even with the end, no second date. I have been in a rut the last couple of months. Either when I’m interested, they are not, or when they seem interested, I’m just not feeling it. I browse the internet aimlessly, not really much to do. Facebook activity is low tonight. My email, is not as active as it used to be. The T.V. is on in the background, I flip through the channels, hoping my phone will ring. Someone to hang out with. I decided to take the initiative and text a couple of my friends. There’s got to be something to do tonight. Take my mind away from tonight. Is New York City after all.
Just as I’m about to call it a night, my phone vibrates, The Roz, few of us are at the Majestic, on 2nd street. If I catch a cab, I might make it before midnight. I decided against my better judgment and head out the door.
Chapter 2
I woke up with a little headache. Maybe I went a little too far, last night. But I needed a stress reliever, and it was interesting to say the least. The place was crowded, and the noise was loud. Like it usually is when the place is going in the right direction. Not used it, but can’t say is my first time either. But I should have ended it last night, instead of letting it linger til the morning. It will just make things that much more awkward.
The clock lets me know I miss the early yoga class, maybe I can make the second one, or third one, depending in how quickly I can get out of this situation. The bed no longer holds a spell on me, so I get out without making too much noise. Tiptoe my way out of the bedroom and head to the kitchen. The coffee machine comes to live, and once I have my fuel, I’ll be ready to have a go to the rest of the day. Janice needs some help with her shopping, and I want to check it out myself, maybe something for me to buy too.
I hear stirring coming from the bedroom, hope I have enough time for coffee before it gets weird. Come on, coffee. Making decisions without coffee never leads to good results. An image appears in the doorway, upper body naked, and showing more than I wish to see this morning. Why do some people don’t understand that it doesn’t carry over? Can’t help but admire the body, maybe it could carry over.
“Hey, good morning.”
“I’m good, I’m making some coffee. You want some?”
“No, I need to run, but I had fun last night. Was hoping I could, maybe, you know, see you again?”
“Let me think about it. That’s usually the kind of person I am, and I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.” Hoping my meaning got through.
“Oh, no, me neither. I’m more respectful than that. Last night wasn’t my usual, and I don’t want to just run. For once I had fun.”
“You said you are not ‘that kind of person’ but in the next breath you ‘had fun for once’?” I ask coyly. See what kind of response I get, is nice to see them squirm a little. There’s a small sick pleasure to get out of it.
“Oh I see, you like to play with my words. Isn’t a little early to try to play games?”
Good way to get out of it buddy. “Maybe, but is my house, my rules.”
“Ahh, well, in that case, yes, if I have to answer truthfully, never had a one-night stand, and that’s why I’m standing here in your kitchen, trying to figure out how to proceed next. I think the protocol should had been for me to sneak out before you woke up?”
“Something like that. Don’t want you to think I’m a floosie either, I have respect for myself and what happens in my bedroom, but you catch me at a weak moment, and I needed some fun. And we seemed to hit it off last night. So, is not like I’m an expert in ‘protocol’ as you point out. But I think we are past the point of sneaking out. I do have a yoga class I want to make, but I still have time for coffee. So, you can go ahead and pack your clothes and run out of here, or we can establish something here, and keep the weirdness out of it.”
“Ok, I like that, you are pretty straight-forward. Maybe too straight-forward.”
I smile, and say what I think: “Is not the first time I heard that statement about me. Probably not the last one either.”
“So, shall we start from the beginning then?”
“I think we are a little late for that.” Looking towards my bedroom and beyond. A smile appears, that smile is quite attractive. It seems genuine. “Maybe a beginning is too much to ask. But I wouldn’t be opposed to a re-introduction.”
“Ok then. I’m Michael.” He says, stretching his arm.
“I’m Janet.” I shake his hand. That coy smile appears on his face again, he knows he has beaten his share of women before. “Jane, for my friends.” Feeling his hand.
Chapter 3
“Ok Jane, I’ll have that cup of coffee then.” Last night was really a good night after all. And to think I was going to give up on it.
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I might write more later. Emphasis on might. Thanks for your support.
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I owe you an apology
I’m sorry to my followers, all 8 of you, or at least that’s how many hits I had today.
This week has just been horrible for my writing. Work decided to take over my life this week. I know that’s no excuse, but wanted to post this, my first chapter, or part of it anyway. I’m already behind, but I’m hoping I can put enough time this weekend to catch up.
Thanks for your patience and support. Specially to my daily visitor. You know who you are. ILY.
Chapter 1
Oh my god, she plucked all of her eyebrows off. Michael thought, as he sat down with his date with Amanda. After a few weeks of talking through email and passing the dreaded first phone conversation he finally won a real date. I’m not so sure I really “won” anything. She actually looks like an attractive girl. But painted eyebrows he would never get over that.
How come I didn’t notice that before? He wondered as his mind flashed back to the pictures from her online profile. He has been in his shared of bad dates, but he thought he was getting better. Obviously there were some parts he needed to freshen up. All he could think was of the picture taken at her work, it showed her face and body type, but it was from a few feet away and she did a nice job of painting her eyebrows in that one. But now up close the natural look of them was long gone, and if he paid enough close attention he could actually see the red bumps left from all the plucking. He felt some shivers down his spine. He suppress his goosebumps so that she didn’t notice or at least didn’t react it to them.
Why do women do this to themselves??!!!! Couldn’t help but wondered. As his mind started too wondered off t run adrift for a few moments. Thinking of his upcoming 29th birthday and what his friends might do to surprise him. Spending the date with Felicia wasn’t a possibility anymore, at least something good came out of their break up. With his family back in the West Coast, he had to depend on his girlfriend (now ex) for family. Problem was that he never got along with them. He never really thought too much of it, he didn’t plan on spending time with them and they seem pretty happy with keeping him at arm’s length too. Except on birthdays, they would gather and make him feel part of the family, in a way that never felt quite so inviting.
Now with his new found freedom Michael thought about the possibility of having a simple nice birthday party with friends there. Celebrate with a few bottles of wine and beer, going over to a friends house, he wouldn’t offer his, since he knew he would have to do all the cleaning later on and he wasn’t up to that task, and dance the night away with all the ladies of his life. Specially if she showed up. Which the way his life was going, it definitely meant she would be there. Damn it Michael, pay attention here. Maybe something can be save here. She does have a nice body after all.
He tried his best throughout dinner to laugh at the right moments and ask all the right questions. Conversation was constant, but not natural, at some point he felt like an FBI agent asking questions and hoping for a crack on the case. He knew this date was going to end with a hug and one “I’ll call you soon” before the entrée was delivered to the table. At this point his only question was who was going to be the one to say it. She seems amicable enough that she might say it, but he thought of himself as a gentleman so he would also try to say it. Well, he still had most of the meal to figure it out. The reviews of the restaurant where great, so at least something good can still come out of this. Medium well, anyway.
Day before the storm.
Here we are in the eve of the start of National Novel Writing Month.
I’m excited about it. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few weeks. But just wanted to let you know a few things. The story that I’m trying to write this month, has nothing (as far as I know) with any of the other premises I have currently written. Is a story about love.
Someone told me once to write about what you know. And if you knew me, you would say….so you know about love? And after both of us stopped laughing, I would tell you, that no. I don’t know much about love. But this story is not about what I know, but the story that feels the biggest need to come out.
The basic premise is we are going to see two sides of a love story. Told from the point of view of the two main characters. I think I know what’s going to happen. But then again, I don’t know anymore. It has all become conjecture at this point.
30 days, 30 posts. While I love the idea of NaNoWriMo, not sure I love the actual MONTH they chose. Don’t they realize that Thanksgiving is this month? My own birthday? And I have to write on weekends too? Plus maintain my relationship, my friendships, my outside life? And a full time work?
I was looking around my house, and realized that my computer is attached to my T.V. and I really don’t have a desk to work and to think. I wrote a post last night, and while I was able to make it, it didn’t cover the whole ideas I wanted to reach. Heck, it was the smallest post to-date. I’ll have to do some changes very quickly.
The challenges I’m facing, are not any worse than what most of my fellow NaNoWriMo writers will be facing. So, is not like I’m at disadvantage, and this is not a competition (that I know of). And I’m not hiding from mortal enemies. But it will be interesting.
On the week before I started this blog, I was talking to a friend, and asking me what am I going to write about? And it took me a few days to figure out what exactly I wanted to write, because my first inclination was to NOT write my book in the blog. There’s just so many plot holes that would need fixing, so many re-writes it would need to pass by, and it would show all the naivete I think about what it takes about writing a book.
There’s research behind every book, there’s timelines, there’s character development, minor characters, settings. I don’t know any of this shit! I’ve never taken a literature class. I’m just a fool with a keyboard.
That’s what I wanted my blog to be about, trying to come up with this “world” where my characters would be living. Setting the boundaries if you allow me to say, of what this characters can/can’t do. I know they live in this world, 21st century. So there wouldn’t be random acts of sword play. Or magicians. Is not a supernatural story. So, the first incarnation of this blog, before I ever wrote down, would had been to:
Day 1 of Blogging: Talk about the main character, his past, his goals, his life, catching him up to date, when the book starts. Giving him a background that I would be able to draw from.
Day 2: Talk about 2nd main character, same as first day but of second person.
Day 3: Talk about the town they live, NYC, Boston, Rome?
Day 4: Minor characters
Day 5: etc., etc.
But now that I’m so close to embark on my odyssey. I have now change my mind, and write, write everything that comes down the pipeline. Tell you their story the way I see it, and see if I can tell it they way they want me to. And if I can do justice to their lives. It will be ugly, and it will be inconsistent. Don’t really want to put you off of your reading, but I want to set the expectations to a level of understanding.
With that all being said, I’ll do my best, and I’ll give it as big shot as I want, and I know that at the end of November, I will be closer to the end, than as we stand here today, and for that I’m grateful of this opportunity.
BRING IT ON!!!!!!
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Shit, I just realized that for me to keep up with the goal of 50,000sh words, my posts will need to be at least DOUBLE the length of this one. Still….
BRING IT ON!!!!!!
Don't Follow My Lead 